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Will Smith’s most shocking revelations including suicide, jealousy & drugs

WILL Smith’s new memoir gives fans a candid look inside his life in a way fans have never seen before, revealing his struggles with depression, jealousy during his marriage to Jada Pinkett-Smith, drug use and more.

The book, called Will, features several shocking admissions from the Fresh Prince star, 53.

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Will Smith’s new memoir is full of shocking revelations about his lifeCredit: AP
The actor discussed his marriage to Jada Pinkett-Smith among other things

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The actor discussed his marriage to Jada Pinkett-Smith among other thingsCredit: Rex

Will spoke openly in his new memoir about his marriage, as well as his life before marriage.

He admitted to having ups and downs with Jada, 50, and recalled some of his past romances.

Among the old flames named in the Aladdin star’s book are Stockard Channing and Melanie Parker.

He also talked about some of his wife, Jada’s, relationship — namely close friend Tupac Shakur.

Will admitted in his memoir that he struggled with “jealousy” over Jada’s romance with the California rapper.

In addition to past loves, the I, Robot actor wrote in detail about his marriage, his marriage struggles, and the lengths he went to in an effort to save the relationship.

DEPRESSION REPRESSION

Ahead of the release of his memoir, the trailer for Will’s upcoming YouTube docuseries was released.

The premise of the show is weight loss.

In a voice over, Will says: “This began as a journey to get into the best shape of my life.

“When I started this show, I thought I was getting into the best shape of my life physically. But mentally I was somewhere else.

“I ended up discovering a whole lot of hidden things about myself.”

The book was discussed several times in the clip. At one point, the actor/musician gathered family, including kids Willow Smith, Jaden Smith, and Trey Smith, for a reading of a portion of the book.

Gathered with those closest to him, Will reveals: “That was the only time in my life that I ever considered suicide.”

Willow appears emotional in the clip, while her bothers and the other people around the table look on quietly.

It’s unclear what point in life Will is referring to.

In another portion of the trailer, the ’90s icon appears emotional. He is again seen sitting around the same table.

Will used a tissue to dry his tears, while Willow, 20, looked on crying and wiping her own tears.

COMPLEX ROMANCES

In an excerpt of Will’s memoir, initially obtained by People, he opened up about the emotional strife he experienced during his first marriage.

The actor recalled falling in love with Six Degrees of Separation costar Stockard Channing while married to Sheree Zampino, his first wife.

He wrote: “Sheree and I were in the first few months of our marriage with a brand-new baby and for Sheree, I can imagine that this experience was unsettling to say the least.

“She’s married a guy named Will Smith and now she was living with a guy named Paul Poitier,” he added, referencing his character in the film.

Will went on: “And to make matters worse, during shooting I fell in love with Stockard Channing.

“After the film wrapped, Sheree and Trey and I moved back to L.A. Our marriage was off to a rocky start. I found myself desperately yearning to see and speak to Stockard.”

Will and Sheree divorced in 1995. He married Jada two years later.

DAD DRAMA

Among the many revelations made in Will’s memoir was a particularly jaw-dropping one about his relationship with his father.

The actor revealed in the book that he once considered killing his father Willard Carroll Smith Sr., whom he described as “violent.”

In an excerpt from the tell-all, Will explained their complicated relationship, writing: “My father was violent, but he was also at every game, play, and recital. He was an alcoholic, but he was sober at every premiere of every one of my movies.

“He listened to every record. He visited every studio. The same intense perfectionism that terrorized his family put food on the table every night of my life.”

Recalling the frightening behavior he saw from his father, Will shared: “When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed. I saw her spit blood.

“That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.”

He went on to explain: “One night, as I delicately wheeled him from his bedroom toward the bathroom, a darkness arose within me. The patch between the two rooms goes past the top of the stairs.

“As a child I’d always told myself that I would one day avenge my mother. That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him.”

Will wrote: “I paused at the top of the stairs. I could shove him down, and easily get away with it.

“As the decades of pain, anger, and resentment coursed the receded, I shook my head and proceeded to wheel Daddio to the bathroom.”

Will’s father died in 2016.

MARRIAGE STRAIN

In an excerpt from his memoir obtained by GQ, Will detailed the unconventional nature of his marriage to Jada.

He specifically discussed a fight the pair had after her 40th birthday in 2011.

“Do I have to be married? What is it?” he wrote, describing a vision where Jada was the soil and he was a seed.

Will said he started thinking of his relationship as “fruitful interaction that is meant to feed the people around us… Whether I liked our interaction or not, I started feeling in my heart we were special together. We were condoned by the universe.”

According to Will’s recollection, this moment of clarity came as he and Jada were having marriage struggles. Their issues reached a boiling point around his wife’s 40th birthday.

He shared: “We realized that it was a fantasy illusion that we could make each other happy.

“We agreed that she had to make herself happy and I had to make myself happy. Then we were going to present ourselves back to the relationship already happy — versus demanding that the other person fill our empty cup.”

Will previously spoke with GQ about their unconventional relationship, saying “marriage for us can’t be a prison.”

He added: “Jada never believed in conventional marriage.

“Jada had family members that had an unconventional relationship. So she grew up in a way that was very different than how I grew up.

“There were significant endless discussions about, what is relational perfection? What is the perfect way to interact as a couple?

“And for the large part of our relationship, monogamy was what we chose, not thinking of monogamy as the only relational perfection.”

TANTRIC HEALING?

After the birthday party blowout, Will said he decided to go on a spiritual journey to Trinidad to connect with counselor Michaela Boehm, who specializes in tantric sexuality.

In an excerpt of his memoir obtained by The New York Post, Will said the first question she asked him was: “What would make you happy?”

Will answered: “I would have a harem.”

Asked who would be in it, he named Halle Berry and Misty Copeland. He eventually came up with 25 women, though they weren’t all named.

In the excerpt he also revealed that he took the psychedelic drug ayahuasca 14 times during a silent retreat in Peru after his split from Jada.

While under the influence he encountered an “unseeable woman,” who he called “Mother.” He saw her during eight of the times he took the drug.

GREEN WITH ENVY

It wasn’t just his marriage to Jada that Will talked about in his memoir. He also opened up about Jada’s past relationships.

Particularly her friendship with the late Tupac Shakur.

Will explained that Jada and Tupac were friends from high school. They fought “their way from under the weight of abuse and neglect” to become the famous.

He admitted their bond made him uneasy when he first started dating Jada.

Will wrote: “Though they were never intimate, their love for each other is legendary – the define ‘ride or die.’

“In the beginning of our relationship, my mind was tortured by their connection. He was ‘PAC! and I was me.”

Will added that Tupac has “a fearless passion that was intoxicating, a militant morality, and a willingness to fight and die for what he believed was right.”

He said Jada’s pal made him feel inadequate.

As he and Jada got more serious, she became “less available” to Tupac.

Will called it “a twisted kind of victory.”

He wrote: “If she chose me over Tupac, there was no way I could be a coward. I have rarely felt more validated.”

A PAST OF HIS OWN

Another blast from the past in Will’s memoir was Melanie Parker.

Will and Melanie dated when the actor was young. In fact, she was among. his first girlfriends.

He was 16 when they met and fell in love. Will said although they were young, he was ready to build a life with her.

Their romance took a turn for the worse at one point, with Melanie cheating on Will while he was away on a two-week tour.

He turned to “homeopathic remedies” and “rampant sexual intercourse, even breaking one of Melanie’s windows with a fire poker.

They reconciled, but Will couldn’t move past Melanie’s infidelity. The pair broke up a final time, fueled by “anger and resentment.”

In an effort to get his revenge, Will collected everything Melanie had ever bought him and lit it on fire.

He also discussed her friendship with Tupac Shakur

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He also discussed her friendship with Tupac ShakurCredit: Getty
Will also talked about falling in love with co-star Stockard Channing

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Will also talked about falling in love with co-star Stockard ChanningCredit: Alamy
He and Jada have been married since the '90s and have two children plus Will's older son, Trey

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He and Jada have been married since the ’90s and have two children plus Will’s older son, TreyCredit: Splash News
Will Smith admits he drank psychedelic drug ayahuasca more than 12 times for ‘spiritual enlightenment’ after marriage problems with Jada

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